Let's face it Tippy was drunk most of his life. He was a stubborn, cold, round man with a grotesquely long orange nose. The only thing Tippy ever did was tilt. He drunkenly insisted he was tipping, not tilting, so we went along with him to avoid a scene. Tippy wasn't even supposed to be a 'he'. He was supposed to be 'Tipper,' a blond-coifed, rock music-fearing former second lady. Alas, that was not to be. Born to be a snow-lady, Tippy never got over the loss of his two rounded womanly bits in the first minutes of his life. According to Tipper's young creator the two rounded snow-pillows were crudely fashioned appendages that required a master sculptor with training in snow cleavage. Besides, a snowman is just easier to make.

Tippy stood in front of the house for four days, yelling and frantically waving to passers-by. It is unclear what was so important to the drunk snowman. Even after he lost three teeth and one eye, Tippy continued harassing cars, children, dogs (who treated him most cruelly by yellowing his base), even other snowmen across the street.

The end came overnight as the temperatures heated to 50 degrees and thunderstorms moved across the area. Though he was a hateful, agressive snowman he stands Ozymandias-like as a testament to the fleetingness of humankind's creations and a lesson in hubris to all who dare create men out of snow.

Tippy wore a foolish, drunken grin in good times and bad.




If you got close to Tippy, he would whisper in your ear and try to get you to buy him Night Train Express.